I’m not sure how old I was when I noticed my nose. I mean, there it is on my face, so it was pretty early on I assume. But what I’ve been thinking about lately is when I decided my nose was too big. When did it go from a nose to a big nose? Really, when did I let society and my insecurities determine the way I saw myself?
I think it was probably around the fourth or fifth grade. Now, by this time I was WAY past the training bra stage (boys this is your invitation to leave this post… thanks bye) and looked completely different than the other girls at my tiny school. I still remember in the fourth grade one of my classmates telling me that her mom said that I stuffed my bra. No, she did not ask me, she informed me. So, once I realized I was an hourglass amidst toothpicks that is elementary school, I started noticing other things I didn’t like about myself. Things that stood out. By the end of 5th grade, I had legitimate plans for a breast mastectomy and a nose job the minute I turned eighteen. And no, I am absolutely not kidding or making light of that. I was that concerned with my body that I researched and planned this, guys. Yikes is right.
Now obviously, that never happened and I have embraced my physical appearance (I mean we all have our days, but I am not longer living in insecurity), but it still breaks my heart thinking about other little girls and women feeling those feelings and wishing away their own bodies. So girls, if you’ve ever felt this way or are feeling this way currently, this one is for you.
This world will tell you that you are not enough. It will make you feel like you need to change what you look like to fit a certain mold or to finally have an identity. But I’m here to tell you from personal experience that that could not be farther from the truth. First of all, you are wonderful and beautiful for who you are inside of yourself, not what is outside. But while that is very true, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, which means you are beautiful on the outside, too. Your hair, your weight, your figure, your nose, your lips, your thighs, your feet… everything. You are absolutely beautiful and perfect in every way, and for someone to convince you otherwise is to murder who you are created to be. Do you know how I know that? Because Song of Solomon is literally a love note written from God to us, and in Solomon 4:7 He says to us, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” He also says two verses later, “You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes.” If the creator of the universe and the creator of you says that you have no flaw, I can promise you that it is true. Your identity should be found in nothing but Him. Not your looks, not how many likes you get or how many followers you have. Your identity can only be found in the One who never changes and never lets us down.
No, you are not the girl on the cover of the magazines, but you are just as beautiful. No, you are not the star of your favorite movie, but you are just as beautiful. No, you are not the girl sitting next to you in class, but you are just as beautiful. You are worthy of absolutely everything, because you were created by the actual creator of everything. The differences between you and the next girl are what makes you so perfectly unique. For you to believe a lie from the enemy that you are not beautiful is to deny yourself and your creator your potential. Because while we are busy worrying about what other people think of us, the reality is that we do not have much time to think about others. When we are beating ourselves up staring at ourselves in the mirror we don’t see the girl next to us with scars on her wrists. We don’t see the hurt in the eyes of the checkout man or the homeless person standing at the corner. We don’t see them, because we are busy looking at us.
It took me a very long time to realize that, because I’ve struggled with anxiety in different ways for quite a long time. But I am convinced that a negative body image is one of the devil’s favorite ways to distract women from their purpose by making them feel like they are not worthy of it. Do not listen to that voice. You are here for a reason, you are made for a purpose, and you are the only one that is 100% equipped for that job. The lies of this world will try to make you feel like you aren’t good enough, but don’t let them. You’re better than that, and you are absolutely, positively beautiful.
P.S. Something that has helped me a lot with this is writing these love note verses down on post its and putting them on my mirror. It may help you too. Feel free to reach out to me for more verses, but seriously Song of Solomon is full of them. The whole Bible is full of love notes to you. He loves you so much.
P.P.S. I am doing a collaboration with an incredible swimsuit line that’s mission is to give modest, adorable swimwear to women of all shapes and sizes. I’m absolutely in love with this brand and what they stand for, so be sure to be on the lookout for that, coming very very soon!